


once you catch this feeling

by thrice



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Meta, Romance, does this count as fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 13:59:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11579505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thrice/pseuds/thrice
Summary: If you haven't gotten the memo: I love him.





	once you catch this feeling

I’ve always wondered how the universe works. What it does, why it does it, how it links people’s hearts, souls, and pink flooded pinkies into a infinite red string that would never die and never break. It was always just — _there_. How people can fall in love with someone, never even to fall in hate. Maybe once, sure. Maybe twice. Three times, perhaps. But not enough to break that bond. Not enough to do any real damages. A chinese legend woven into people’s own stories of their own ardor against another—

(Hey, you ready?)

Pause. (I, um- think so.)

(Oh. Okay.)

— their own ardor for another human being. And there have always been people; girls and some boys alike. They all are memories too fast and too slow, all flamboyant. I've cherished each and every one in my own way, a kiss as needed, a touch is obligatory,but it’s just not enough. They’re all cars who would drive me to the middle of nowhere with no destination. I needed someone who could take me there without the poisonous wait. I needed someone else, in point of fact.

That person isn't here with me right now. He's off in the shadows; waiting to grace the aisle. I wonder how many times my heart will stop the second I see him in that suit. Or distinctively remembering how I have successfully achieved something that belongs in a children’s storybook, something a kid can moon over with their parents. There is nothing real about this, this story I have halfly created with my bare hands, with a person I used to waltz with in my dreams. A dream painted in warm hues and touched with fairy lights limned on the wall.

And, _my god_ — do I carry a burning torch for him— do I love him. I've loved him since I saw his figure grow more clear in the rumbling of a train, only to grow farther apart. I anticipate my every swim into his blue eyes; the water is so warm. I adored his pursuits for my breakfast cereal, his cute little _deer-in-headlights_ look when I catch him (this is the last time, he says, i swear). In all of his quirks and laugh that reminisces the tinkle of fairy chimes. In the feel of ebony locks against my cold hands, chilled cheeks against warm ones. I've always promised myself that I wouldn't let this go, no matter how many hands were to press against the glass— trying to peer in. I’m not that same scared little boy. The one who can't control his ember enough to save his mental health.

(If you haven't gotten the memo: I love him.)

I’m proud of him, proud of us. Proud of what we’ve accomplished; i've sat long and hard for this moment. I've slayed all the dragons, knight gear on. I’ve defeated every villain. I’ve won over the prince. This sweet feeling running through my body; a mix of nerves and euphoria, is something I only wished of feeling years ago, staring out of a classroom window. That same tainted window to look out to and think, _one day- i’ll be better than this._ Spoiler alert, I am. Because I feel it, and it’s sweeter than I could ever imagine.

The night we sat in the snow, as we filmed the christmas adventure, I turned to him and said, _Phil,_   _I don't deserve this. Why you chose me, I don't know._

I remember his smile. Soft and warm. He took my face in his hands.  _Silly boy,_ he told me. _Of course you do._

_There is no one else I would rather be with._

I- I hear wedding bells now. I hear the start of a lifetime. They sound enchanting, matching the aura and vibe of the moment. They serve as a reminder of what we are both about to do; what we’ll do together. But I won't hesitate, you see, i'm going to do it. I'm going to do it because I can, because of love. Because I'm going to do it with no one to stop me, that they don't have the right to take this away from me. No one does. I've put my beating heart and stringed soul into every part of this. The decision is made; written in the sands and into the glorious stars above, twinkling back a _you're welcome_ on behalf of the entire universe.

I see him. He arrives in a suit that look like it's been made with an angel's hands, he looks so _beautiful_. He smiles at me with a hidden message, and I send him one right back. We have our own little language, just meant for us. So I send him another message, this one filled with joy and flash a grin right back.

**

INT. HOUSE IN THE OUTSKIRTS OF LONDON- NIGHT:

We're laying down in our bed; matted in each other's comforting body heat, feeling like a second home.

I watch him. He presses his fingers along the edges of his glasses' temples and places it on his nightstand. He then looks at me.

“Hi.” I whisper. It feels quiet, if sound was was a feeling. But it’s not a strong, deafening quiet that I feel. And I could still see the sea in his eyes. A bit dim in the dark, but visible.

“Hello,” Phil says.

He then manages to find my face with his icey hands, review over his marriage vow in a tender summary, and presses a pucker to my lips.

The sweet feeling remains.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @hatetwice on tumblr n @fbiphannie on twitter :OOO


End file.
